Peace & Humptiness
My head is a mess. Never mind the 2-inch roots -- no, really, stop looking at them, I mean it! -- the inside is just a jumble. This and that. That and this. You'll see . . . (she said ominously . . .)
I saw my own personal Scalegod yesterday morning -- if only to confirm my theory that any exercise of any kind makes me gain weight and sure enough. I was back up to 183.8. Then, since I didn't do anything yesterday cept sit on my substantial ass and try to write -- try, I say TRY -- I saw him again this morning and sure enough. I was down to 182.0. One of these days I really will learn to ignore that fucking number. *glOWer* One of these days.
So I think all the happy WW Core vibes out there have been carrying me along on their honeymoon currents. Eating right has been -- for the most part ( showers conspicuously excepted) -- sooooo easy! I've been back on program for 24 days now with just 1 slip. I mean, that's crazy! Mind you, I'm not complaining. Thanks, y'all!!
Activity is still a problem, of course. But I'm done making excuses about that. I'm just not there yet and that's that.
And then, this morning. Well. Let me back up a little bit. A couple of days ago I picked up Jennifer Weiner's new book -- Little Earthquakes -- and I checked in on her blog and saw that she was going to be on the J@ne P@uley show, talking about weight. (I meant to mention it here but forgot. Sorry!) But I did tell Em and Em brought her little tv into work today so that we could watch it. One of the nice things about this job is that I can take my "lunch" hour at 10:00 in the morning to watch a show, if I want, then just scarf my Power Salad later at my desk.
Aaaaanyway, Jennifer Weiner was one of several all female guests. A couple of the women lost weight through diet & exercise. A couple through surgery. But the focus wasn't on how they lost the weight, it was on how it affected them. What's different for them now that they're thinner.
Jennifer was the last of the guests, and she was the size-acceptance portion of the program -- saying that she'd been large since she was a kid but that she never let it stop her from doing what she wanted.
One of the other women had talked about how, once she lost the 80 pounds, she started mourning her twenties & thirties because she'd spent them being fat and not doing anything because of it. She'd never been to the beach with her because she didn't want to put on a swimsuit, for instance. But Jennifer said she never let that stop her. She was active as a kid -- played sports, did everything she wanted to do. She had boyfriends. And now she has a great husband and a wonderful and a dream career. And she said (I can't quote exactly but it was something like): The only thing that you get from losing weight is smaller clothes.
I love her writing. I loved what she said on the show. But my entire being was screaming after that last line. Losing weight may not change YOU -- the pure, essential you -- but it sure as hell changes the way other people treat you.
Maybe, if you lived alone on a private little planet of 1, losing weight wouldn't change anything about your life except the size of your clothes. But if you live in this world? It sure as Hell will change. Sure as Hell. I'm not saying that's right, I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm just saying it IS.
I thought it was really interesting, how violent my reaction to that was. No lack for issues here, that's for sure.
In other news, I've got a fine total of 150 pages on the work in progress. Yay!!!
And you may have noticed, I've given the ol' 676er a Halloween spin. As Marla can tell you, when you can't commit to a haircut -- but you're really in the mood for a new look? It's time to change your blog!!
Plus, the work in progress has a ghost or two in it, so I thought it was doubly appropriate.
And that concludes the "spill-what's-in-yer-head" portion of the program. Peace and Humptiness to all.